FAQ

Yes you may choose your own celebrant and inform the funeral director who that is to be. Your funeral director will have celebrants he / she will recommend but you are not obliged to use them.

Generally this is by phone. Whether you have contacted me directly or I have been given your phone number by a Funeral Director or a friend of yours, we will talk about the commitment involved and arrange our first meeting.

Usually I will come to meet with you in your home or the home of your loved one. However I am also delighted to meet with you and your family in my home if this is easier.

This is a special time where I can hear from you about your loved one and together we can plan all the components of a ceremony that will honour your loved one and tell their story well.

Prior to our meeting it would be great if you could have thought about:

• The “Essence” of your loved one i.e. their character, personality, special stories, interests… their ‘originality’
• Their Eulogy / Life Story i.e. their parents, schooling, dates, upbringing, contribution, volunteerism, interests, work, sport, family holidays, special characteristics. Who will give this?
• What are their ‘gifts’ that family and friends will carry  forward eg courage, great sense of humour,  ‘can-do’ attitude …………
• Tributes from family and friends. Do you want open tributes?
• Your loved one’s view on life – their Spiritual anchors / beliefs

And whether you would like to include:

• Poems / prayers / readings (I have a wide resource that I can help you with if need be)
• Photo or photos for pre service
• A photo montage with music embedded [eg 50-70 photos for 5 minutes]
• Music: songs / hymns / pre-service, during and for committal
• Lighting a candle / s for remembrance
• Special memoriablia for casket eg a photo/ sport or clothing items/ their craft work
• Symbolic action/s or symbols eg packets of seeds for guests to plant, releasing balloons, wearing / bringing a colour, pieces of music, recipes

The most important thing is to craft a service / ceremony that reflects your loved ones beliefs and view of life, and one that you are happy with.

If you have booked a Crematorium for an hour, for example, you will be constrained by that. If you know that it is impossible to really honour your loved one in this time you can book a Crematorium for 2 hours. Alternatively, you could use a venue in the community with no time restrictions. However, if you are working with caterers you will need to have an estimate of your service time.

If you would like to read a tribute but are worried you’ll be too upset, together we would create a contingency plan. It might be that someone close to you stands with you and is prepared to take over should you need. I am also able to help if you would like.

After our first meeting I will work to help you with any points that you are stuck on e.g finding the right poem or reading or choosing a piece of music.

I will also prepare:

• DRAFT Service Sheet Details to go with the photos you are preparing for the Funeral Director. When you are happy with the details I send them to the Funeral Director copying you in and they liase with you from there for your ‘sign off’ of the Service Sheet
• A DRAFT service for your loved one in full and send it to you, asking you to add or edit as you see fit. I am never precious about my words – the important thing is that the service reflects both your loved one and yourselves.
  We will work with the service until you are happy with it.

We will work together via email or phone to ensure that we create a service that reflects both your loved one and yourselves as per ‘After the first Meeting’ FAQ.

I will also prepare a run sheet for the day which I share with the Funeral Director and Chapel attendants to ensure that we are all working together on the day to ensure smooth running of the service.

I will maintain contact with you ensuring you are happy with all the details for the day.

This so easily happens when someone is deeply loved and people want to speak in the moment. I feel this is important to discuss ahead of time, and to create a plan created that everyone agrees on, especially if you have a time restriction on the venue. This can then save embarrassment and upset on the day.

Shortly after the funeral I will be in touch with some brief reflections and would value any feedback from you. [Thank you for considering me for this precious task.]

I understand that this is a costly time in so many ways.

You may be charged for my services by the Funeral Director you are working with.

However if you have engaged me separately the fee for my service, including: service planning, writing, meeting (physical / Zoom), liaising with you, the funeral director and venue is $550-600. There may be some additional costs for example if there is travel outside of the Auckland area.